


Hold Me Down, Keep Me Safe

by killingmonsterswritingthings



Category: Pentagon (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Cuddling & Snuggling, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-20
Packaged: 2019-08-26 15:28:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16684222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killingmonsterswritingthings/pseuds/killingmonsterswritingthings
Summary: Hui has been tense lately. Wooseok has been watching him carefully, even today, when he doesn’t feel so great himself, and it’s obvious. He’s good at playing it up for the cameras, and he’s not always bad, but it’s worse today.





	Hold Me Down, Keep Me Safe

**Author's Note:**

> idk what to tell you, at first i got inspired by [these pictures](https://twitter.com/CUBE_PTG/status/1061945874526269440) and the vlive of course and then... my brain made it sad, because that's who i am as a person
> 
> enjoy? :1

 

The moments the cameras are off, the smile falls from Hui’s face.

He’s been tense lately. Wooseok has been watching him carefully, even today, when he doesn’t feel so great himself, and it’s obvious. He’s good at playing it up for the cameras, and he’s not always _bad_ , but it’s worse today.

“Guys, a picture!” one of the managers calls, and Wooseok is one hundred percent sure that Hui suppresses a groan.

There’s a lot of shuffling with only five chairs and nine boys and even with two of them sitting on the floor that still leaves Hui and Hyunggu out of chairs.

Hyunggu settles down on Yanan’s lap without many reservations and Hui squeezes back into the middle where he was sharing Changgu’s chair before, but they’re all closer together now and he doesn’t fit properly anymore. Wooseok somehow ends up next to Changgu, with Hui hovering uncertainly above them, the cake in his hands.

Wooseok sighs as he watches him sway. “Just sit down properly.” He puts a steadying hand onto his waist and tugs him down carefully. “This is not the time and place to exercise.” Somehow, it makes Hui even stiffer, but at least his right thigh is now resting on Changgu’s, his left on Wooseok’s.

Wooseok can feel warmth radiating from Hui’s skin even through his sweater and his hand twitches a little. He wants to tighten his hold on Hui’s waist but instead he wills himself to splay his fingers wider.

  


They pull faces and smile – well, everyone else does, Wooseok has perfected his stare – until the pictures are deemed good enough to upload. Then everyone gets up, and Hui escapes Wooseok’s grasp quicker than really necessary.

  


  


  


Later in the dorm Wooseok holes up in the kitchen for a while to help Shinwon with dishes, just so he doesn’t have to think about things. He watches as Hui comes in, gets a glass of juice, and then shuffles out again, a tense set to his shoulders and movements sluggish. Wooseok shares a look with Shinwon and puts his dishtowel aside without another word to follow Hui to his room.

Hui puts down his glass on his desk and waits until Wooseok has closed the door before he turns around to face him. “What do you want?”

“Nothing.” Wooseok shrugs, not entirely honest. His fingers are still itching from earlier. “Just thought _you_ would want something, after today.”

It’s been rough on them all, no doubt, but Hui had taken the past few months especially hard.

Hui groans and tips his head back. “Liar,” he mumbles. “I saw the way you were all over the place earlier. You need this just as much as I do.”

Wooseok is too tired to argue today, so he just waits. He knows it’s hard, knows Hui has his reservations and holds his walls up even in the privacy of his room. Finally, Hui takes a step towards him and that’s all the permission Wooseok needs before he closes the distance between them and puts his hands on Hui’s waist, both of them this time.

Hui exhales shakily, his hands clamped into fists at his side.

“Come on,” Wooseok says. “Let go.” He sneaks a hand under Hui’s sweater, fingertips touching warm skin, doesn’t pull him closer just yet.

Hui shivers, but doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t move, either.

“I’ve wanted to do this for hours,” Wooseok says softly.

“Good thing you didn’t.” At least now there’s a wry smile. It stings, but Wooseok tries not to take it to heart. He knows Hui is just looking out for them.

It takes another moment but then Hui relaxes ever so slightly in his hold and leans against him. “I’m sorry,” he mumbles against Wooseok’s collarbone. One of his arms sneaks around Wooseok’s middle.

“What for?” Wooseok asks. Hui has apologized for so many things recently.

“Not being strong enough,” Hui says vaguely. At least Wooseok already knows this one, and they both know it’s not true. “And the fact that you can’t do this with me in public...”

Wooseok can’t hold back a snort. “I slapped Kino’s ass on broadcast, I held Yanan’s hand for a solid minute, I can do whatever I want.”

At least that makes Hui laugh for a moment.

With this one, they both know it’s not true, either, but they don’t say it. Wooseok because he wants to make Hui feel better tonight, and Hui because he knows Wooseok would argue, and argue, and argue, until they both felt worse instead of better. All Wooseok wants Hui to know for the moment is that it’s not his fault.

“Come on,” he coaxes, “it’s nap time.”

“Ugh,” Hui makes, “I still have to–“ But Wooseok is already shaking his head and steering him towards his bed.

“Nope, no responsibilities tonight,” he says decisively. “It can wait.” They have no schedules for tomorrow, so whatever Hui was going to counter with, it has time. Most of the others are in the living room right now, watching a drama while cuddling Yanan.

Hui sits down on his bed with a huff and Wooseok, impatient, flops down next to him and shoves at him until he lies down.

Contrary to his arguing from earlier, Hui curls up opposite Wooseok easily. Wooseok leans their foreheads together and closes his eyes. His left hand finds its way under Hui’s shirt again, holding on maybe a little too tight.

“Are you okay?” Hui asks after a moment.

Wooseok hums without opening his eyes. “I am now.”

The unspoken “But I wasn’t earlier” hangs loud in the room.

Hui breathes in, but Wooseok speaks first. “Don’t apologize again. It’s okay. I hate it, but it’s not your fault.”

Hui’s left hand finds his right between them and now he, too, is holding on too tight. Wooseok can take it. They’re both compensating, and if that means a few light bruises, fingerprints dusted over skin where they’re easily covered up, they’ll take it.

“I hate it too,” Hui mumbles, and then, seemingly unable to stop, says it again: “I hate this, I hate this, I hate this, I hate this-”

Finally, Wooseok opens his eyes. He squeezes Hui’s hand, rakes his nails over his back, presses a kiss to his forehead. “Stop,” he says, “stop, stop.” There’s nothing else he can do, nothing else he can tell him.

Hui, impossibly, burrows closer, burying his face in Wooseoks chest. Wooseok holds him tight, and doesn’t pretend he can’t feel the tears soaking the front of his shirt. What he _does_ try to ignore is the aching in his own heart.

“It’s gonna be okay, you hear me?” he whispers. “It sucks, and it hurts right now, but we’ll get through this.” Because they have to, and they will. That’s the life they chose.

He holds Hui through it, because there’s nothing else to do, until finally the shaking of his shoulders and the sniffling ease up.

“Better?” Wooseok asks. Hui hums in response, and it sounds half-asleep. He must be exhausted.

One corner of Wooseok’s mouth quirks up. He presses a kiss to the side of Hui’s neck, below his ear. Then he disentangles himself from Hui and sits up. “You should drink your juice,” he says. Crying dehydrates, after all.

Hui whines a little at the loss of contact. Wooseok pets his leg comfortingly before slipping off the bed to get the glass from the desk. Hui sighs and sits up and they share the juice – at his insistence, Wooseok would have given it all to him.

“I could really use something stronger,” Hui mumbles when Wooseok puts the empty glass on the bedside table.

He snorts. “Not tonight.” Tonight is for healthy coping mechanisms and softness, not for bad decisions.

It’s quiet for a moment, and Wooseok watches helplessly as the thoughts in Hui’s mind run amok. “I should have been the one comforting you,” he mumbles then.

“This is all I need,” Wooseok says. It’s not quite true, but it’s what he tells the both of them when he has to.

Hui takes his hand, and this time he doesn’t apologize again.

Wooseok kicks out his legs to sit a little more comfortably and his foot hits Hui’s Laptop.

“Wanna watch something?” he asks. It’s the easiest way to take their minds off things, and if Wooseok plays his cards right, Hui will be asleep within the hour.

“Sure,” Hui says and Wooseok retrieves the Laptop.

They end up watching a kids movie they’ve both seen countless times, just for the nostalgia and the familiarity. Hui is nestled in Wooseok’s arms, sitting in-between his legs, with Wooseok propped up against the headboard, cheek leaning against the side of Hui’s head, hair tickling his jaw.

Like clockwork, Wooseok notices Hui’s eyes drooping after less than half an hour. His head tips forward and Wooseok bites his lip to hold back a giggle. He slowly and carefully moves the Laptop without jostling Hui too much and then shifts them into a more comfortable, horizontal position.

Hui makes a low noise and then mumbles “’m not sleepy.” Wooseok snorts.

“Always with the lies,” he says softly. He leaves the movie running for background noise but burrows his face in Hui’s hair, soft and devoid of product after his earlier shower, smelling like shampoo. His hands are on the soft skin of Hui’s tummy and carefully moves his fingers to feel more. Hui twitches, ticklish, and Wooseok laughs into his hair. He does still the movement of his hands, though.

Then they just lie there, and Wooseok listens both to the movie and to Hui’s breathing, which evens out after not even five minutes.

By the time the credits start running, he’s half dozing, too.

Their life is not always easy, but as long as he gets to hold Hui like this at night, he still has hope.

  


**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you think / feel free to yell at me i guess
> 
> title is from wanna be missed by hayley kiyoko
> 
> come find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/systaemupdate), [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/luffylaws) or [tumblr](https://leiathelight.tumblr.com) :*
> 
> [promo tweet](https://twitter.com/luffylaws/status/1064925881565659136) if you wanna rt


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